Blue Valentine: A Realistic Look at the Problems in Contemporary Marriage

“You promised you would take me for better or for worse. This is my worst.”

 Credit: JustJared

We’ve all heard the alarmingly high rate of divorce in the United States. There are a number of possible factors contributing to this -- money, technological changes, rise of women in the workplace -- but no one can peg the actual reason why divorce rates are so much higher. Is it simply the fact that the rise of divorces causes others to rethink their lives and proceed with divorce? No one knows.

We finally saw the much talked about Blue Valentine this weekend. Blue Valentine is a low budget ($1M) indy film released in 2010 starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams.  The film artfully documents the relationship of two modern young working-class individuals who meet by chance and fall in love. The characters are lovable and carefree at the beginning of the relationship and depicted as miserable and stuck by the end.

What do you do when you wake up one day and your significant other stops giving you any attention or affection? From the other perspective, how do you handle the relationship when almost a decade has passed yet your spouse still acts like an child without responsibility and ambition? What Blue Valentine exemplifies is that the enigma of falling out of love does not necessarily have one single source or reason. Instead, it is the product of countless variables and sometimes, nobody is at fault while everyone gets hurt. There is a child involved. Both parties clearly have the child’s best interest at heart.

This is not a chic flick, and most certainly not a romantic film. This is a genuine look at the demise of relationships as it so painfully occurs to too many couples in this modern world. We take the film not as a depressing reminder but rather as a wake up call to reflect on our own lives and what we can do to prevent such demise.