Credit: BusinessInsider
Are you like Pam or Jim from The Office?
Most of us spend at least 40 hours a week in the office, or 80% of our waking hours. With the countless stories exchanged, small talk and occasional personal remarks, we get to know our colleagues better than anyone else.
It would be superfluous to state that office romances are not kosher -- when two singles spend that much time together and develop a strong bond, the rush of the heart racing is natural and common. There is also something inherently dangerous or taboo about dating in the office that makes it even more enticing. You are being watched, whether by your supervisor, fellow co-workers or even the security guard who canvases the building and frequently sees you two walking together. The thrill of doing something seemingly unorthodox gives the office romance a hint of vulnerability that fuels youthful passion.
Sometimes, the most passionate of relationships come with the most difficult demises. Stripped of the romance, you are just two co-workers who often need to cooperate on projects and communicate hourly about the job. A nasty breakup or conflict will heavily cripple both your abilities to carry out your professional duties. Just being in the same office may prove uneasy.
So where does that leave us? Abandon the romance?
Nobody can answer this but yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else. You know whether you are the type that can bounce back into a cordial professional demeanor after a split, or whether you are the type to go running as far away as possible in the face of discomfort. Assess your situation with the best possible objective view, knowing that things are never nearly as predictable as one may hope. For those who do decide to pursue the romance, here are three wise tips:
1. Keep work and love separate:
You will constantly run into each other in the office. Keep your co-workers and boss out of the picture. Do not get anyone involved by displaying your affection or attending company events as a couple. When you are in the office, you are there to work. Every hug or act of love in front of your co-workers taints their ability to fully judge you for your work alone. The last thing you want is for your co-workers to associate you as the “girlfriend” instead of the “professional.” In a world where office gossip is a regular part of life, do not position yourself so that you become the hot topic of discussion.
2. Communicate early on about boundaries:
Assuming you are both reasonable, neither one of you desires things to escalate into a sour breakup. Have the talk very early on about what you both want. Confirm with each other your abilities to resume a cordial working relationship if things end. Discuss all foreseeable or possible issues and how you would handle them. Discuss the unintended consequences, acknowledging that what you are doing comes with inherent risks and accepting them.
3. Communication again when things get serious:
If your relationship does become something serious, talk about possible options to distance yourselves as co-workers. Perhaps one could approach a supervisor as ask for more work in a different department, or seek officers further away from each other. Reassignment may allow for a position that allows some space.
For anyone currently facing a prospective office romance, we would love to hear what you think! Please leave us comments below!
